By Norma Curran, CEO

Over the years I have had the opportunity to talk to many parents who have sons or daughters with learning disabilities and/or autism who are struggling to support their children in mainstream schools. They chose a mainstream education over a more specialist environment because they believed that this was the best route to help their son or daughter learn as much as possible and to be meaningfully included in society.

Please believe me when I say that I fully believe in the principle of inclusive education. I just wonder if some mainstream schools do. I don’t know if it is the stringent targets they have in terms of educational attainment or if it is simply that many teachers do not have the skills and experience to support people properly, but I do know that, for many, it just isn’t working.

I felt compelled to tell you my sons’ story. In my heart, I probably always knew that he had attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) but, like many I didn’t want to go down the medication route. Although not perfect, things were easier when he attended primary school. For me, that is because teachers had the opportunity to build a relationship with the pupil and can better understand their needs. In secondary school, the situation was completely different.

Very quickly after starting secondary, he started to be excluded from school. The number of exclusions gradually increased and when he experienced a close and sudden family bereavement we were quickly in a situation where he was excluded more than he was at school. By this stage it was pretty much accepted that he had ADHD but we were waiting for an official diagnosis.  We went through the conventional routes for support – anger management, counselling etc and I tried some more unusual routes out of desperation. I played tapes when he was sleeping and arranged hypnotherapy, to mention just two. Looking back on it, it sounds crazy but, believe me, I was at my wits end, and I could see his self-esteem disappearing at breakneck speed before my eyes. We were also having problems out with the school environment as a result.

I could go on and on about the failings of the school. Whenever he was excluded, his first experience when re-entering the school was to hear a list of his ‘crimes’ which put him in a tizzy before he had even seen a classroom. On another occasion I was told that the school had done everything to support him. I pointed out that his most recent exclusion had arisen from him waving out of a window at someone. When I suggested that sitting a pupil with ADHD at a window might not be best practice, they appeared oblivious to this.

The only ray of hope, in that very dark time of our lives, was a behaviour support base at the school, with a fantastic staff team. They completely understood my son and did their best to support him. I very much appreciated their efforts but wondered sometimes if that, in some way, this allowed the rest of the school to absolve themselves of all responsibility.

Although things improved dramatically for my son when he started taking medication, we decided that a fresh start in another country was our best option. I often think about what would happen if he were going through education now. When the secondary he attended built a new purpose-built school, they decided that there was no room for the behaviour base that had been our lifeline and the staff team was redeployed into mainstream schooling.

Anyway, that was the then and this is the now! When we came back to Scotland, he did various jobs in the construction industry. He passed his driving test first time and settled into working in the flooring trade, learning all aspects of the business. In 2014 he became a dad of twin boys. In 2019, he set up his own company and began building his brand and reputation. In 2020 he became engaged. The next step for his business was to open a showroom and I am delighted to say that in February 2022 this happened!

All the characteristics that made him a ‘problem’ going through school are now used to good advantage. He is creative and spontaneous. He has boundless energy and is always on the go. He is an amazing problem solver and has usually found a quick and easy solution before you have even spotted that there is a problem. When doing his job, because it is something that he loves, he is hyper focussed on the quality of his work so customers are always happy. Finally, his chatty personality means that he is well connected and thought of in the business world. As I have always said, he’d get a piece at anyone’s door!

I offer this story to all parents who are still going through the nightmare battle that we went through a few years ago. There is light at the end of the tunnel. At my bleakest moments, I really feared that he wouldn’t get to this stage, but he has, and I have to say that is more credit to him than the establishment.

As parents, we need to stand together and strong to let educational authorities know that some of the practices around are unacceptable, unlawful and immoral. United perhaps, we can make a difference and ensure that our sons and daughters have the best possible educational start in life. If there are any aspects of this article, you would like to discuss, please contact the VIAS team on 0141 212 3395 or email info@viascotland.org.uk. Written by Norma Curran, a proud mum.